11 Jan PASSION MEETS PURPOSE-SEE BEYOND
There he was, standing at the side of my bed. “Go tell Mommy what I said”, he instructed. Being only four years old, I was obedient and got out of bed. I went into the living room and repeated his words to my mom. “Who said that?” she asked. “Grandpop” I responded. “Where is he now?” she inquired with a look of confusion. “He’s in the room mommy” as my small index finger pointed back to the direction of my bedroom. A tear streamed down my mother’s face from the message I had just delivered to her. I was unaware at the time that my grandfather had passed a week prior to his visit and yet, the reassurance that he was at peace would last a lifetime. This was my first experience with spirit communication.
My childhood was filled with continued encounters with spirit, but I was lucky because my mother never stopped me from my play dates with those on the other side. She simply thought I was over imaginative and never questioned it further. Growing up, I would always receive “hits” of information as we like to refer to it in the industry. I would simply know things I shouldn’t and receive messages from those that had crossed over. Not realizing that this wasn’t normal for everyone, I led the traditional life. I went to college and received my bachelor’s degree and found myself in public taxation. Although I had always been creative, I settled for a career that was secure because that’s what society had expected from me. Accounting is a respected industry and I was attracted to the stability it provided. In fact, in 2009 Forbes named accounting as one of the top 10 most secure jobs to hold. There’s always a need in the market for a number cruncher who understands the ever changing laws and regulations regarding taxation. Honestly, I enjoyed my work. I loved the aspect that entailed helping others solve problems, yet there was always something inside of me whispering “you are meant to do more”. Like most people, I didn’t understand the true meaning behind it, but found myself drawn and inspired by public figures who were changing the world. From Oprah to Tony Robbins, I soaked up their passion and envied their ability to live freely doing the work they loved.
By 2007, that inner whisper had become an undeniable roar. I found it difficult to focus on work and it became increasingly difficult to feel present sitting at my desk. I found myself staring at the 10-key wondering what was I doing with my life. For anyone who hasn’t worked in the public accounting industry, it’s a time demanding position, especially during the tax filing deadlines which are spread throughout the year. As a result, I was forced to work 80+ hours about 6 out of every 12 months. I felt empty inside and I knew that I was putting a lid on my soul. The breaking point came one day during a particularly difficult tax season. It was a beautiful spring day and my office overlooked the prestigious city of Beverly Hills. I stood up from my desk and walked to the window. In that moment I realized I was living in a fish bowl. I had created this reality based on security and expectations of a society that I did not fit in. I started to cry because as much as I wanted to be grateful for my job, this office view and the career I had worked so hard to build, I was ultimately disappointed in myself for settling. I had no idea what I was going to do at that point. How was I going to start something completely different? I was getting older, how could I start over now?
I had no choice but to trust my inner voice. That voice that told me to get out there and inspire others. That voice that said “we are still here with you”. My connection to the other side had never wavered during all of these years. In fact, I could feel them nudging me to listen to them. I knew I had to find the courage within to take a Leap of Faith. I started to take classes with world-renowned mediums to deepen my connection and hone my gifts. I was still juggling the accounting job as I spent the next few years understanding my purpose and accepting my path. There were many times I struggled and wondered if I was wasting my time. I lived in such a state of fear of what others would think of me, and quite honestly, I lost many friends as I came out of the “spiritual closet”. My work environment became hostile because others could feel that I was no longer on the same page as they were. They could not only see the change, but they could feel it. The energy was thick and permeated the office walls. I went from managing an entire office to not being able to do anything right in their eyes. I felt like a failure and on many occasions needed to escape the office and take a walk around the block to shed my tears and pick myself back up. There was a sense of resentment because they could see that I was starting to break free of the box. The box that they had also settled for, but didn’t have the courage to leave. The feeling of my new found freedom and sense of purpose kept me on task and comforted me during these times of questioning and sadness.
As my engagement in following my spiritual path grew, so did my tribe. I found new friends, those who had the same interests and purpose. I started to feel less “crazy” and more in control of my path. My passion grew at a rapid pace. At this time, I was studying for the CPA exam. The Certified Public Accounting is a license that is issued only upon the successful completion and passing of a several part exam. In the state of California, once you pass one part, a clock starts and you only have a limited amount of time to successfully pass the entire exam. I had three of the four parts completed. I only had one part to go. This may seem like an easy endeavor, but true purpose was calling. As I was sitting in my townhome studying for the exam, I had an overwhelming rush of concern for my neighbor. My heart was racing and in a flash of a moment I felt him dying. I had no reasonable basis for this concern. In fact, I didn’t even know him that well. Yet, the spirit within forced me to call 911. As the police arrived and we had to maneuver our way into his home, I found him sitting in his recliner, eyes open and deceased. I immediately felt a sense of relief and peace for him. I knew that he had not passed away alone and I had connected with his soul in his final moments. I could also feel the gratitude of his mother Madonna who had passed a few months before him.
Even after this experience, I struggled to get that accounting license. I felt that it was validation on some level and that I needed it to feel worthy. On the eve of the exam, I prayed to spirit. I asked with everything in my heart “please give me this”, “let me pass and I promise to serve you”. I received my score a few months later. I had failed. Just by a few points, but those few points meant that the entire process had to start over. I asked my guides “why?” and they responded “because you can no longer negotiate with us, now go out and serve”. The very next day I found myself doing my first professional reading and have never looked back.
Today I am a successful spiritual entrepreneur. With a best-selling book, hit radio show and store-front space in the heart of Los Angeles, I am fortunate to spend my days helping others not only discover their passion, but give them the essential tools to live their purpose and break free from the box.
In truth, my experience is not that special or uncommon. Most of us are being nudged from the inside driving us to strive for something more. The only difference is that I listened to that inner whisper. When we can tune into our inner voice, the signal becomes stronger. Through peace comes clarity. Through clarity comes courage and through courage comes confidence. For anyone who has a vision beyond the box, the office cubicle, and is ready to live their purpose with passion, they merely need to start with a Leap of Faith.